The Ojai Post

WASHINGTON (FMLive Wire) -- The shoe hurled at President George W. Bush has sent sales soaring for the Turkish shoe maker as orders pour in from Iraq, the USA, Congress, Iran, Europe and other developing and developed nations.

The gray-brown, thick-soled "Model 271" shoe has been renamed "The Bush Attack Shoe" or "Bye-Bye Bush Brain," said Armazana Babadana who owns the Istanbul-based shoe producer Babadana Armazana and Sons Shoes-To-Go-and-Throw Inc.

"We've been selling these shoes for years but, thanks to Bush, orders are flying in like crazy," he said. "We've hired an agency to push television advertising for this shoe."

Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi hurled a pair of the famous and much coveted shoes at Bush at a news conference in Baghdad on December 14th. Although both shoes missed the president, the journalist was jailed and severely beaten. He is now seeking a pardon from the Iraqi Prime Minister.

Babadana has received orders for 3,000,000 pairs of the shoes since the attack, more than 1,000 times the number his company sold each year since the model was introduced in 1999. The company plans to employ 10,000 more staff to meet demand, he said.

"Model 271" is exported to markets including Iraq, Iran, Syria, Egypt, Israel, Albania, the EU, Bulgaria, Monaco, the USA, Russia, the Vatican, Canada, Britain, and Indonesia.

Babadana said he received an order this week for 4,000 pairs from the US Congress shoe shop, and indicated he plans to open an outlet here in Washington, DC.

"Everyone wants these shoes. They really hate Bush and the neonazis."

Another good one by Brett:
"Fig Tree"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2ikJnasdrs

I went in to Ojai Valley Cleaners today to pick up some dry cleaning, and the proprietor told me all they take is cash or check, neither of which I had. As I debated whether to run and get money or come back another day, she asked, "Do you live in Ojai?" I applied in the affirmative, and she motioned for me to take my clothes and come back and pay her another time. What a nice small town gesture!

Ojai Valley Cleaners
345 E Ojai Ave
Ojai, CA 93023
(805) 646-2745‎

Tyler,

Her name is Michelle and she's great. Have been using her for years for both cleaning and alterations etc.

Michelle is awesome! She sees me pull up and often has my clothes waiting on the hanger before I even walk in the door. She also says that it's okay to leave your car, drop off your dry cleaning and grab a cup of coffee next door. Just don't linger (my words, not hers)!

I try not to go to the cleaners. The only thing I dry clean is my suit and a few shirts my wife bought me. Wrinkle free shirts are the greatest.
I gave up coffee last year too! Sorry Stacey. Peace

One of my favorite projects during the holidays is to dust off the recipe and whip up a trio of "Delusional Pies." Not only are they delicious, they are easy to make.

For those of you not familiar with baking, "Delusional Pies" are so easy almost anyone who Googles can handle this recipe.

Remember to shop locally and use only fresh and natural products. I prefer our own Sunday Farmers market. The selection is wonderful and you will always run into somebody cheerful to chat with over a cup of latte afterward at the Coffee Roaster. Share a laugh or two but avoid artificial sweeteners.

For each pie -- I like to make three at a time, one for each holiday and another for the week in-between -- you will need the following ingredients:

(Oh, and be sure they are all freshly picked - nothing canned will do.)

One cup of Millennium Poison Pen Berries (unsweetened)

One cup of Roasted Doubleday Jock Nuts, (unsalted)

One cup of local honey (avoid nuclear brands that have been irradiated)

One 1/4 cup of Illuminati sprinkles (decaffeinated is okay but If you prefer a real kick use the brand that adds in ginseng)

One cup of Extra Dry, Extra Crusty, O. B. Leary flour.

One cup of Arundo Free Ojai Sparkling water (be sure it comes from upstream the Round Up)

One pie tin or better yet a recycled Frisbee from Soule Park

One 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (Trust me, if you look hard enough you'll find this - if not in Ojai, try the mission in Ventura)

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees or if the Santa Ana's are blowing, simple clear off three square feet of black asphalt. (Wash with an organic soap - You may have to go to Trader Joe's for this or if desperate try an auto degreaser from Ace Hardware)

2. Mix the Arundo Free Ojai Sparkling water with the Extra Dry, Extra Crusty, O. B. Leary flour in a native grown gourd bowl. (Bowls can be purchased from that new "Ojai" store or purloined from most any farmer's field for the freeloaders or schnorrers among you.)

3. Roll out the doughy mixture on some organic surface, preferably freshly killed native oak, with a hand hewn "I've Lost My Marbles" rolling pin, (also available from that "Ojai store.") Do leave some lumps in. After all we've all taken a few lumps lately, so what's a few more?

4. Oil the pie tin or Frisbee with some of the extra virgin olive oil, then lay in the dough. (Please spread lots and lots of dough around as this will certainly stimulate the local economy.)

5. While the O. B. Leary flour pie crust dries and gets really hard and ornery out on the asphalt, pour the Roasted Doubleday Jock Nuts, (unsalted) and the Millennium Poison Pen Berries (unsweetened) into the purloined gourd. Mix the twain and crush the bejeezus out of them. Stir in the non-nuclear local raised honey. (A note of caution: Delusional Pie can be particularly bitter to swallow since it's eaten half-baked - it will need all the honey you can possibly imagine to make it edible.)

6. Pour this mixture into the O. B. Leary crusty pie shell and return to the asphalt. Bake until your honey heats up and boils over.

7. Sprinkle with the Illuminati

8. Remove from heat, allow to cool down, then serve -- preferably with pumpkin ice cream and a shot of home brewed tequila.

Warnings: Eating too much Delusional Pie has been known to cause excessive flatulence, illusions of grandeur, brain decay, senility and paranoia. Should any of these symptoms appear, turn immediately to the Ojai Post for a few good laughs. Laughter, particularly, organic, naturally birthed laughter, has been known to cure all.

Enjoy and have a happy holiday season... And if you drink and drive, please do not tailgate or use a cell phone!

That sounds deeeeeliscious!