I caught this story last night on KEYT and it has been gnawing at me ever since.
Gary Wilde, the President and CEO of Community Memorial Health Systems, which owns Ojai Valley Community Hospital and Community Memorial Hospital in Ventura, was featured in a news story about members of the LDS church who went door to door to support Proposition 8, a ban on gay marriage. Wilde says he supports “preserving the traditional definition of marriage,” which I am guessing doesn’t include the agreement that the man will put the toilet seat down.
Having such a public figure who is a pillar of our community take such a strong position on this issue brings all sorts of questions, including I suppose, how are gays treated in his hospitals?
I’ve been in a “traditional marriage” for almost 18 years, but I would never take that right from same-sex partners choosing to exchange vows. Check out this site (you’ve probably seen the commercial), and vote no this November. Meanwhile, I might consider taking my healthcare needs to County hospital. I’m very conflicted about this because there are so many good people at Ojai hospital and they do good things for our community.
{ 25 comments }
You’ll love this one too Lisa. One my (formerly) favorite SciFi writers, Orson Scott Card, also has written strongly against gay marriage.
I have often recommended his books, especially Ender’s Game, but now I’m not so sure. It isn’t that the book tows the same line (though some argue it does), it that the money and popularity he receives allows him to spread his bigoted hate.
It is going to be a tough go between now and November. We can only hope that Prop. 8 is soundly defeated. I’ve been in a “traditional” relationship for 18 years too, but my mom came out as gay at 40 and I’d never seen her happier. Go figure.
According to Frank Schubert, ‘Yes on 8′ campaign manager, the mobilization of LDS (Mormon) volunteers could save his campaign up to $26 million in costs related to micro-targeting persuadable voters.
Micro-Targeting Mormons:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/8/24/61932/7927/663/573944
So much for campaign finance rules.
When the Yes on 8 types come to your door, don’t slam it in their face or tell them to go to the devil. Invite them in. Fix them a cup of tea. (Herbal, of course.) Make sure you boil the water slowly – it tastes better that way. Sit them down and ask LOTS of questions. When they ask you a question, think it over VERY carefully. I’d suggest taking at least two or three minutes to respond. You don’t want to give any rash or ill-considered answers. If they hurry you, just say “I’m considering it prayerfully.” Before they leave, ask if they would join you in a moment of prayer. Make sure YOU lead the prayer. And remember, God has all the time in the world, so don’t leave anything out. If they spend less than an hour in your house, you’ve failed.
OK, personally I don’t really care if homosexuals want to marry. Honest. I don’t think that the moral fabric of society will be damaged. In fact, it may be enhanced.
But I want to know when it is going to stop. How about if three people want to get married? Or four? Or what if someone wants to marry his dog?
I just want to find out if there are ANY limits. Because if there aren’t, then society IS in trouble.
Come on, we’re talking about two consenting adults here, not polygamy or beastiality!
Isn’t it possible that all of this preoccupation with what goes on in other people’s private lives is just a red herring to keep us from paying attention to the things that are actually destroying us, for real, every single day? Hasn’t every single dictatorship or would-be dictatorship in history tried to create and attack enemies o’ the moment in order to keep people from seeing who the real enemies were, and from which direction the real threats came?
Neither one of you answered my question. Are there ANY limits, or not?
I answered your question: the limit (your word) is two consenting adults.
phalarope-
“the things that are actually destroying us”?
like what?
rock n’ roll?
like what?
rock n’ roll?
Do you believe that a stupid question deserves a stupid response?
Are there ANY limits, or not?
Yes. As always, there are your own limits on your own behavior. That qualifies as ANY limit, doesn’t it?
Hey, I heard that the CEO of “Insert Local Business Here”, is against gay marriage..hardy har har lets smoosh his opinion/beliefs and make him look bad, ready..set..start a new blog. I didn’t know running a network of hospitals automatically required you to support certain things that have nothing to do with health services. lol.
I’m not making him look bad; what gives you that impression? Yes, he is entitled to his opinion (and I am entitled to seek healthcare elsewhere). I just wonder what kind of treatment those who differ from his beliefs get when they seek healthcare at one of his hospitals. How is his staff treated – staff that may believe or act differently than him? Michelle Obama is speaking. She reminds us that today is the 88th anniversary of women being granted the right to vote. She is talking about the world as it is and the world as it should be.
All these comments prove once again that doing what is right is not always popular, at least in Ojai. One must consider the outcome of one’s ideas, not just whether or not they seem right or feel good, or make a person happy. If happiness is the proof of truth, then we’re really in trouble. Pedophiles are probably “happy” when they are doing something 99% of us would consider gross and wrong. We are becoming increasingly foolish as a culture as we only ask the question “Can we?” and not the question “Ought we?” Just because we can do something does not mean it is the wisest choice. If we as a culture change the definition of marriage, then we open the doors to continually changing it… to “three” consenting adults, etc.. Logically, homosexuality is not self-propogating. In fact, even from a secular/darwinist standpoint is makes no sense as it would not benefit the species, but lead to extinction. The truth is that God invented marriage – and what a great idea! – and it is his definition that we would be wise to follow. I applaud this man for making this stand.
Dan,
I find your view so sad. The “Truth” is different for different people. I don’t believe your truth, you don’t believe mine. However, I respect your right to your truth as long as it doesn’t impinge on mine. Who your neighbor loves, who your deli clerk sleeps with, who your mail deliverer leaves his or her worldly possessions to, who I choose to call partner is none of your business. Who you pray to, what you pray about, and who you pray with is none of my business.
I am not asking anyone to believe in marriage between homosexuals. I’m asking everyone to believe in granting any two consenting adults the same civil rights and responsibilities as any other two. That means the right to own health insurance together, visit each other in the hospital, make decisions for one another if one is unable. I don’t care if you allow them to make their vows in your church – that is none of my business. But as a nation that prides itself on its civil liberties, it is absurd that we are having this conversation at all.
Are there limits? There are religious traditions and cultural traditions all over the world that encourage polygamy. Perhaps we should be open to it – provided the people involved are all consenting adults. I wouldn’t want to be in that relationship but I don’t think that makes it wrong. Dogs? You are arguing for the haters here – please choose your words wisely.
As for the hospital president, I am afraid that his administration and staff would make it hard for gay or lesbian partners to visit their loved ones or make choices for them. Not being allowed to get married is one thing, not being allowed to see your loved one as he or she dies in a hospital bed is a whole other. It happens all over the country because righteous people don’t believe gays and lesbians have the same validity in their relationships that heterosexuals have. If you don’t hold a marriage certificate or a blood relation, truth is they don’t have to let you in. That’s what this fight is all about.
Please talk about this with your friends and neighbors. Please come out and vote “no.” Historically, our constitution is about guaranteeing rights, not about limiting them.
Well said, Heather.
Being new to Ojai, I was excited to have easy access to a high level of health care right in my backyard, and was delighted that Ojai Comm. Med Center was one of the providers on my insurance. Coincidentally, I recently setup an appointment to tend to an issue, and over the weekend read your article. Needless to say, I had concerns over my decision in light of the fact that I am gay. I went into my appointment with an open mind, and although the staff and doctor were incredibly friendly and responsive, the forms I filled out were clearly geared towards a black and white “married” or “unmarried” world. When the doctor asked my status, I informed him we are registered domestic partners. He responded with “OK then, how about we put down ‘significant other’ “. Seemed perfectly innocent at the time, but in retrospect, how would that protect me if something catastrophic were to happen? Would my parter have to explain that she is more than “significant”, would she have to show up with the appropriate paperwork, have to hire a lawyer; take legal action in order to make decisions on my behalf? Could the seemingly harmless lack of the appropriate check box on an outdated form come back to haunt us? Although the CEO’s religious beliefs are his personal choice, when those beliefs extend into bigatrous behaviors (such as recent news elsewhere of practitioners’ religious objections to extending fertility services to gay couples) they directly affect their clients willing to spend dollars on healthcare. How am I to know whether the doctor, nurse, or staff member has an objection to my sexuality? Whether their religious beliefs dictate, as seems to be acceptable at the moment, that they treat me differently than any other human being? Not to beleager the point, but while searching for a primary physician, at least one of the doctors I was considering with the group appeared to have some mighty radical affiliations, bringing to question the political and/or religious bent of the organization “behind the scenes”. Call me paranoid, but when you’re in my position, you have to go out of your way to protect your rights.
The CEO can say what he wants (and so can anyone else) but Ojai has a significant Gay and Lesbian population, and here’s something you can count on: the first time Ojai Community Hospital (regardless of who’s running it this week) discriminates against a member of the community for any reason whatsoever, it will be the last time.
Just a heads up: Mike Huckabee recently gave an interview in which he holds Mitt Romney responsible for implementing gay marriage in Massachusetts.
Video here:
http://chinoblanco.blogspot.com/2008/08/huckabee-romney-responsible-for.html
Welcome to the ProtectMarriage.com coalition.
I wish that more rank and file members of the LDS (Mormon) church would realize: the anti-gay coalition they’ve joined in California is one that includes folks who – given the chance – would vote their church out of existence.
Folks like Mike Huckabee and his Evangelical buddies.
I was Raised in a Gay family……one problem was my MOM was not gay and did not know my father was. My Brother is Gay too. Matter of fact my brother has not spoken to me in 13 years. He is mad because I am married, and voted for the first Bush. (If I disagree with him he punishes, and even sends Christmas presents to other families children to my house so that my children can be hurt, and feel pain. The pain is because the gifts are not from their uncle to them, but a vise to ruin our family because I am not Gay like him.) He is mad at me for being friends with my MOM. My Father is still in Denial and claims he is Bi. I am for YES on 8 because I do not want ANYONE to go through what I did. I do not oppose in any way a unity or giving equal rights to Gay or Lesbian couples nor do the Yes on 8 people I know. Jesus has taught us to love unconditionally, and we all strive to do that. I am insulted by the advertisements from Teachers unions and others who are lying about me, and others and what we stand for. Am I a Mormon? You bet I am and proud of it. Do I hate Gay people? No, just the opposite, I love everyone and have a heart for people who feel discriminated against. Do I love my Father after all this? I sure do he is an awesome dad now and lives with his lover. I support him in finding happiness, and finding himself. He now takes care of me. What he does with his life is his business.
Prop 8 is making sure that a Marriage is between a man and a woman as it has always has been in the Bible. You can argue all you want, but being a product of a homosexual father, having a Gay brother, I do not want my children growing up thinking that marriage is between a man and man or women to women. I am tired of being accused of being Gay when I am not, being taken to the Ventura Pier Beach when I was a little boy age 9 playing on the swings while my father was in the bathrooms doing his thing, while married to my mother caused enough damage. God did not create Adam and Steve, God created Adam and Eve. Had God wanted Adam and Steve….well none of us would be here to argue. So before everyone goes arguing against Prop 8, talk to the children who lived through the horrors of having a homosexual father in the closet, and a Gay brother. But then again it is just easier to ruin the rest of my life, my children’s, and steal my signs like little rats at night. Not to mention blackball me in town and graffiti my kids toys. What kind of people are you that would do this? Nobody should support NO because the people who are saying NO on 8 are coming on my private property, stealing, destroying my kids toys and life’s. This is a clear demonstration of the quality, dignity and morals of the people who are against Prop 8. After a lifetime of problems, and being deprived of a healthy FAMILY, I carry a big stick like Teddy Roosevelt did. So if you are planning on taking more signs you had better wear a helmet! Because I got cameras and will protect my property and family with it.
BB, not sure if I need a helmet when I respond to you…Prop 8 won’t change your situation, nor will it prevent a repeat of the same in another family. Perhaps had gay marriage been legalized sooner, though, your father wouldn’t have had to be “in the closet.”
perfect response, Lisa!
sorry for your pain, Barend.
BB, I also feel sad that you had such a painful and confusing childhood. However, I agree with wholeheartedly with Lisa.
And just a thought – If every child who was traumatized by feelings of betrayal, divorce and family dysfunction were to blame the sexuality of their parents (and to use that as criteria and justification for denying an entire class of people their civil rights) I can assure you, heterosexuality would be under fire and “traditional” marriage would have been banned a long time ago.
thank you, LTOR…you’ve said exactly what i was coming on to say.
Barend, i’ve been thinking a lot about what you’ve shared. i don’t imagine that it was easy to do so, and it’s clear that there’s still a lot of pain in that story for everyone involved. i hope you can know that your experience is an exception, and that it would be highly inappropriate to legislate for an entire group of people based on exceptions. it’s unsustainable “logic”.
Your missing the point. Prop 8 would not have made my problem any better, just worse. My Father does not want to come out of the closet. (and anyone suggesting that he should have is again deciding for him) Had Prop 8 been in Place then I really would have been hurt because my Father could have been able to marry his lover, and then have fought for custody under Prop 8 thus blowing any life or feeling I had over the cliff. I do believe anyone should have the same rights, taxes, inheritance, benefits but a marriage is between a man and a women. People forget why marriage is sacred.
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
—Genesis 1:27 (NKJV)
“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’ Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
—Genesis 2:18-25 (NKJV)
Kind Regards,
B
Comments on this entry are closed.