Memoir for Hope Frazier
Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume. ~Jean de Boufflers
I am writing this thread with the desire that others who have memories of Hope might share them here as well.
Hope Frazier: Creative Inspiriter
…and to me, Mistress of Mayonnaise
DK Crawford
Hope was one of those people who seemed to do most things well. She was an incredible cook and hostess, a gifted poetess and photographer, an inspired artist and activist.
What perhaps many don’t know about Hope is that she could make a mean jar of mayonnaise. For a while there, Hope would make my sister and me a weekly container of the tangy, lemony, smooth homemade condiment, simply because we’d beg her to.
When I started my food-writing career in Louisiana, Hope, through my sister, encouraged my work from afar. Before I ever met her, she read some of my feature articles and talked about the distinct voice of my writing. She and my sister were some of the first to let me know my writing had value. It really meant something for an accomplished editor to take the time to read my work. She also helped by recommending certain markets for my writing.
When I began to pursue photography, Hope told me about classes to further hone my skills. She was always interested in my creative endeavors and firmly believed being an artist was a legitimate path. There was something in her that seemed to convey to me, “don’t ask for permission – just do it”.
I noticed that when I’d start questioning the “how” of something, she’d just sort of look at me quizzically. Then inevitably at some point in the future, she’d mention a solution I hadn’t considered. She was also very generous with explaining and showing me her photographic and print processes.
This week a new friend of mine heard the news of Hope’s passing and was terribly upset. I didn’t even realize they knew one another. My friend, a writer, said that Hope was one of the main people who’d encouraged her to write. I bet there are many others who’ve felt supported in their creative work by her.
When I moved to Ojai, Hope and Doug were some of the most welcoming people to me. They felt like family to me, partially because I’d heard so much about them from my sister, partially because they were just warm. Being in their home made me less homesick -- their graciousness shined of Southern hospitality and they knew how to throw a heck of a party!
I house-sat for them a few long stints and enjoyed babying their menagerie and picking fruit in their yard. I loved the way they loved their animals -- that alone says so much about a person. Bob, their dog was the first canine I ever got to feed vegetables to and giving him crunchies (fresh veggies) each day was like being at a petting zoo. I would write little diaries for Hope and Doug about how their pets had spent their days while they were traveling.
In November I saw Hope and Doug at a party and she’d never looked prettier. She was thin but triumphant in spirit. In true Hope fashion, she complimented my latest piece in Edible Ojai. We spoke of the process of creating and how it feels to have projects come to life. We talked about her show that had recently opened at the museum in Tennessee.
Hope told me she was going to visit the triplets (grandchildren) for Christmas and would photograph them. As we said goodbye, I told her that I really wanted to see the prints when she was done.
I am pleased she fulfilled her desire to be with her grandchildren for the holiday. I was surprised to hear about her death and held silent vigil for her and Doug and all of the family (including Beato, Pablo and Bob) over the closing of 2007 and into the start of 2008.
It almost seems like her spirit chose to not go forward into the New Year though I have no idea why. I do know 2008 will be entirely different without her. If I were to take anything forward from knowing Hope it would be to keep creating (without asking permission) and to encourage others to do the same.
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Comments (8)
DK, this brought smiling tears to my eyes. I can feel your love for Hope, and the human spirit, in every word. Thank you, the world is a better place each time your writing sees the light of day.
Comment #1 Posted by: Suza | January 4, 2008 01:00 PM
Thank you Suza, I do hope you will join me in adding some of your own memories...
Comment #2 Posted by: DK Crawford | January 4, 2008 01:02 PM
Here is a link to my short tribute about Hope that people who might not know her may find interesting. There is a very moving memory by Paula Spellman posted underneath.
http://www.ojaipost.com/2008/01/hope_frazier.shtml
Comment #3 Posted by: Suza | January 4, 2008 01:12 PM
Thank you Kate for that wonderful tribute to Hope. It brought tears to my eyes as well. Hope's passing was a complete surprise to me. Hope was one of the "wise women" in a group that I met with off and on for almost a year. It was part of my therapy after my husband and I separated. I was always impressed with her intellect, insight and many talents. She helped me a lot with my state of mind.
I believe that Hope is the one that provided everyone in the group with a copy of this poem. It's not signed so I'm not positive that she wrote it - but, I think she did. Paula might remember --- Let me know.
FLOW
Be, as water is, without friction.
Flow around the edges of those within your path. Surround within your ever-moving depths, those who come to rest there---Enfold them while never for a moment holding on.
Accept whatever distance others are moved within your flow. Be with them gently as far as they allow your strength to take them, and fill with your own being the remaining space when they are left behind.
When dropping down life's rapids, froth and bubble into fragments if you must, knowing that the one of you, now many, will just as many times be one again.
And when you've gone as far as you can go, quietly await your next beginning.
Appropriate, neverless...Thank you Hope.
Comment #4 Posted by: Dana Stephens | January 7, 2008 11:23 AM
I was saddened to hear about Hope's passing. I am from Kingsport and was Hope's friend in high school and college, then we lost touch. How I wish I'd known that she was in Ojai as we are in Southern California as well. I was inspired to hear about her amazing accomplishments as well as how she has touched so many people. I, too, was diagnosed with cancer last April (uncanny). I just hope that her last months were comfortable. She clearly has had a lot of support...I wish that I could have been part of it.
Comment #5 Posted by: margie mcarthur | January 9, 2008 10:05 AM
I am greatly saddened by Hope's passing. Like Margie MacArthur, I knew Hope Cullop from high school and college and lost touch. We had so many good times together! Lots of laughs and discussions. Her accomplishments were many! She was a person whom I hoped to have contact with...eventually. Fare thee well! Her gifts remain.
Comment #6 Posted by: Patricia Leslie | January 11, 2008 10:40 AM
Here's to my good friend Hopie--Margie, Leslie, Becky, Hope and I were all great friends (and roommates) in high school and college and we all bonded wonderfully and forever. We always thought there would be time to reconnect some day but time slipped away. I will always remember Hope's bright smile, quick wit, and great sense of humour. I am less impressed with her wonderful accomplishments than I am that she followed her own path and was true to herself. She did it her way and that's the only way.
Comment #7 Posted by: penny lewis | January 25, 2008 05:01 PM
Dear friends,
I wanted to share this beautiful message that Cynthia sent to Doug.
Dearest Doug,
I have wanted to reach out to you with something meaningful from my heart and have been mute and empty until I left the memorial service yesterday. I walked out with a man who said, "I have lived in Ojai six years and I could count on one hand the people I love and am loved by. This woman lived so big. She had a whole room full of people she touched deeply, influencing and enriching their lives." He vowed to me that he was going to find out how to be a tutor in math and English at Nordhoff High School so that he could be of service to someone else like Hope did. I wanted you to know this, Doug. You both are such examples of Love, Spirit, and Giving. A Light for the world. I am proud to know you.
Much love and many blessings,
Cynthia Matthews
Comment #8 Posted by: Paula Spellman | February 8, 2008 06:20 PM