George Bush: Pardon All The Turkeys
By kindred spirit Bill Maher.
New Rule: The president can't pardon just one or two turkeys this Thanksgiving. He's got to let them all go.
It's probably too much to expect from the man who wanted "no child left behind," then vetoed health care for kids. But think of the upside. Freeing the turkeys might help the president's credibility when he says things like, "We don't torture."
Take a look at this video, shot just last month at a typical American turkey slaughterhouse, and this one, http://www.goveg.com/feat/butterball/butterball.asp
shot undercover last year at a Butterball slaughterhouse by investigators from PETA, and you'll see that my use of the word is no exaggeration. Butterball employees, taking a page out of the Abu Ghraib handbook, laughed while they kicked, punched, stomped, and even sexually assaulted turkeys.
These people should be arrested. They would be if the turkeys were dogs or cats. Too bad our animal protection laws make about as much sense as fighting a war against a country that doesn't have an army. Even though 98 percent of the land animals Americans eat are turkeys and chickens, the federal Humane Methods of Slaughter Act specifically excludes birds from protection. I'm not kidding.
The Butterball plant in the video slaughters about 50,000 turkeys every day. Fifty million turkey corpses will go into American ovens this Thanksgiving. More than 9 billion turkeys and chickens are killed in the U.S. each year. But not one of them is guaranteed a painless death, as documented in this video http://www.meat.org/ that was narrated by my fellow animal-lover and HuffPo Blogger, Alec Baldwin. The Senate can find time to vote to condemn an advertisement, but not to add birds to humane slaughter laws.
So in the face of this surreal situation, in which, once again we can't put our faith in the president, I ask you to do what I'm going to do and pardon a turkey this Thanksgiving. It's not hard. Just eat something else (ideas here http://www.vegcooking.com/f-thanks05.asp
and here http://www.vegcooking.com/ ). Not someone else, because it doesn't seem fair to spare a turkey and roast a hunk of pig or cow instead. If we can bow our heads in gratitude for our families, our friends and our big screen TVs, and then carve into a creature who lived a miserable life and died a horrible death, then our ethics are about as sensible as Britney's parenting skills.
Former Vice President Al Gore http://blog.peta.org/archives/2007/10/petas_response_1.php should be the first to take the meat-free Thanksgiving pledge. Since raising animals for food generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world combined, is it too much ask Mr. Gore to stop gazing at his Oscar and his Nobel Prize long enough to read the United Nations report that calls the meat industry "one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global"?
For those of you who believe that the war is just and that global warming is a figment of the elite liberal media's imagination, here's the straight poop:
* Turkeys and other animals raised for food produce 130 times as much excrement as the entire U.S. human population -- all without the benefit of waste treatment systems. Sewage spills, waste-filled waterways and underground aquifer contaminated with e coli are the meat industry's gift to Americans this holiday season.
http://www.goveg.com/environment.asp
* Turkey meat has just as much cholesterol as the pieces of cow and pig called "red meat." Eating meat is linked to heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, some cancers, and diabetes. http://www.goveg.com/healthConcerns.asp
So do the right thing. Instead of stuffing a turkey this year, stuff the tradition of turkey for Thanksgiving right where it belongs -- in history's trash can.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/george-bush-pardon-all-t_b_73574.html
Note from Suza: Can someone tell me how to make "Live Links" so the words appear "Live" without the "http" and other extra codes? I will fix it if you tell me how. Thanks!
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Comments (22)
Here are the Top Ten reasons to skip the turkey this Thanksgiving:
10. You will pardon a turkey, just like President Bush, but for the right reasons.
9. You'll celebrate life and good fortune, rather than death and misfortune.
8. You won't suffer nightmares about how the turkey lived and died.
7. You won't have to call the Poultry Hotline to keep your family alive.
6. You won't have to sweat the saturated fat and cholesterol.
5. Your vegetarian friends will adore you.
4. Your kids will tell their friends about their cool "tofurky."
3. You won't fall asleep during the football game.
2. You are what you eat. Who wants to be a "butterball"?
1. Commercial turkeys are too fat to have sex. Could happen to you.
This Thanksgiving, let's give thanks for our good fortune, health, and happiness with a life-affirming, cruelty-free feast of vegetables, fruits, and grains.
Comment #1 Posted by: KAYLA CAPPER | November 22, 2007 10:04 PM
Turkey is delicious. And I will continue to enjoy it every year. Are we supposed to hand them off one by one on a velvet pillow and ask them if we may slice their heads off so we may cook and consume them? They aren't human, they are poultry. They are produced for consumption. Our only intention for feeding them is so they can become big, stong, and delicious. Not because we love them. As goes for any other animal. If we stopped consuming animal meat, the earth would be over populated with animals, and we would have open game season instead. Now do you call that humane? Blasting them with a rifle and picking out the bullet fragments before you toss them on a table, rip there feathers out, shop off there feet and head, and cook it? Come on.
Comment #2 Posted by: Come on | November 23, 2007 10:07 AM
Dear "Come on,"
Tell me the truth, did you click on the links and watch the videos shot at a typical American turkey slaughterhouse?
http://www.goveg.com/feat/butterball/butterball.asp
Comment #3 Posted by: Suza | November 23, 2007 10:17 AM
Dear kindred spirit,
Thank you for bring these issues to the attention of American families. Your views are shared by the author of the article in the following online Opinion section of the L.A. Times:
Obligatory Turkey Post
http://opinion.latimes.com/opinionla/2007/11/obligatory-turk.html#more
Also posted by Amina Khan on November 21, 2007 in Animals, Attaboys & Raspberries, Bizarre Theories, Fat, Food,Found Objects, Fun, In the Blogs, Irony, Outer Space, Politicians, Pop Culture, Public Shaming, The Children| Permalink
Please post COMMENTS
Comment #4 Posted by: Andrea | November 23, 2007 10:18 AM
Dear kindred spirit,
Thank you for bringing these issues to the attention of American families. Your views are shared by the author of the following article posted in the online Opinion section of the L.A. Times:
Obligatory Turkey Post
http://opinion.latimes.com/opinionla/2007/11/obligatory-turk.html#more
Also posted by Amina Khan on November 21, 2007 in Animals, Attaboys & Raspberries, Bizarre Theories, Fat, Food,Found Objects, Fun, In the Blogs, Irony, Outer Space, Politicians, Pop Culture, Public Shaming, The Children| Permalink
Please post COMMENTS
Comment #5 Posted by: Andrea | November 23, 2007 10:23 AM
I can't even begin to express my saddness about how we use and abuse animals. If one does not "get" that, then there is
not much hope. But then, there are those who feel a twinge of remorse for eating abused turkeys, but haven't got a clue how to fill their Thanksgiving Day plates. Removing the turkey may look extreme because it is not yet a cultural norm, but it is time to change the common misconception that vegetarianism is defined by what is given up. Instead, it is about what is gained. Besides a sustainable, peaceful future for all life on this planet, a vegetarian diet gifts one with healthy, delicious food. My Thanksgiving dinner consisted of butternut squash soup, Portabello Mushrooms with cranberry and walnut stuffing, mashed potatoes and mushroom gravy, yams, corn, a green salad with shreds of fennel and persimmon, and apple pie. I didn't feel deprived.
Comment #6 Posted by: Sharon | November 23, 2007 10:57 AM
I love those people like "Come On" who are so ashamed of their own words that they remain anonymous!
Comment #7 Posted by: May and Flower | November 23, 2007 11:23 AM
Look at you... "May and Flower" same difference.
Comment #8 Posted by: Come on | November 23, 2007 12:05 PM
Excuse me, but in case you don't recognize our names, we are the two turkeys pardoned by your president, Mr. Bush. We figured since we were on national TV you would recognize us. Here is a photo:
http://opinion.latimes.com/opinionla/2007/11/obligatory-turk.html#more
Comment #9 Posted by: May and Flower | November 23, 2007 12:22 PM
Remember "Charlotte's Web" too. Its awful what happens to farm animals.
But if you think turkeys have it bad, consider carrots. Once upon a time, they happily would grow in a fertile soil, undisturbed, enjoying their time granted by the grace of God.
But then brutal humans came along, They began pumping these carrots full of pesticides and fertilizers, swelling them to unnatural size and length, subjecting them to unnatural growth spurts. And then, brutally, they are yanked from the earth, killed, shipped, and chopped mercilessly before being digested by humans.
The silent cry of the carrot is the silent scream of the human soul, losing itself blythely unaware, as it satiates its earthly frame upon the carcass of that innocent, defenseless plant.
This thanksgiving, millions and millions of carrots will be sacrificed, brutally ripped from the earth, to laden the table and satiate the appetite of overweight Americans.
But the cruelty to carrots is nothing compared to that done other fruits and vegetables. Think of the plight of the "seedless" citrus right here in Ojai - never to enjoy more than the eunuch's unfathomably empty urge for procreation, generativity, sex.
No, the cycle of cruelty does not stop by turning one's attention to the even more defenseless fruit or vegetable, for God's sake.
Perhaps it is time to again seriously consider Swift's modest proposal. Surely rather than inflict insufferable cruleties on other life forms, we could focus our attention on raising and then slaughtering humans for food in a truly humane manner. Think of the benefits. Because our towns and cities are full of humans, our food source could be located right where most of us live, allowing us to save immeasurably on energy costs and pollution caused by transporting food to our cities and towns today. This is how we could really slow global warming.
Someone call Al Gore!
Comment #10 Posted by: Anonymous | November 24, 2007 12:33 AM
Anonymous 12:33 AM,
Your ignorance is exceeded only by your arrogance.
What kind of blindness does it require to overlook the fact that mammals and birds have a little something called nervous systems, which fruits and vegetables lack?
In case you haven't noticed, it is the nervous system which allows you to experience pain, in just the same manner that animals do.... and carrots do not.
This stubborn, willful refusal to see the obvious -- which you have demonstrated so thoroughly here -- is the only thing that makes possible humanity's appalling brutality toward the animal world.
Comment #11 Posted by: david | November 24, 2007 12:56 AM
Anonymous has a great idea!
However, since Republicans haven't offered America anything of any value since the days of Teddy Roosevelt (OK; maybe Dwight Eisenhower. Maybe.), I say we eat THEM. It's about time they start earning their keep, isn't it? We can sell their meat to other countries, too, and maybe we can start making a dent in the obscenely large national debt they've created.
I can see the brand label artwork now: a picture of George Bush striding across the landscape of a ruined America, flipping off the consumer, with a cartoon balloon containing the words "EAT ME!".
Comment #12 Posted by: phalarope | November 24, 2007 09:20 AM
Dear "Come On" and "Anonymous,"
Have you by any chance seen the film EARTHLINGS, narrated by Academy Award Nominee Joaquin Phoenix?
Here's a link to clips from the film and a transcript of the screenplay by Shaun Monson:
http://www.isawearthlings.com/about.html
Last night I watched the extended DVD edition of this documentary. I'm honored to be reviewing it for several publications and will be posting one here very soon.
Comment #13 Posted by: Suza | November 24, 2007 10:22 AM
hah!hah!hah!hah!
phalarope, stop beating us over the head with your superior intellect (=humor)...
where deenis leary? he's the only prog worth his weight on this rag...
Comment #14 Posted by: Anonymous | November 24, 2007 05:18 PM
phalarope, stop beating us over the head
OK, but only because it's apparent that you've been beaten over the head waaaay too much already.
Comment #15 Posted by: phalarope | November 24, 2007 07:03 PM
say anonymous.....
if dennis is a prog, what are you? a reac? or a fasc?
Comment #16 Posted by: kittykat | November 25, 2007 10:43 AM
The problem with selling Republican meat is you could probably sell it only to other Republicans. Other people would be afraid that, mad-cow like, they would be afflicted with a brain eating disease.
But hey, for Republicans, who are already pretty good at eating their own (see: headlines any day of the week), there might be a good business here. "Certified Republican" meat.
Could solve alot of the world's problems right there.
Comment #17 Posted by: Anonymous | November 25, 2007 10:51 AM
kitty cAT--check for pussy burn.
Comment #18 Posted by: Anonymous | November 25, 2007 06:52 PM
Ughh! LH is back. Or someone doing a good impersonation of him. LH, for someone claiming great intelligence and knowledge, couldn't you try to once in a while share some of it with us? (If its really there?)
The clever-only-to-you ad hominems are just tiresome.
I think this thread was about challenging the Thanksgiving turkey (and carrot!) tradition as inhumane. Do you have any thoughts on that subject?
Comment #19 Posted by: Thread Killer | November 26, 2007 11:31 AM
gross, don't feed THAT troll!
Comment #20 Posted by: Anonymous | November 26, 2007 03:26 PM
"clever-only-to-you ad hominems are just tiresome...."
but you show yourself unable of taking hook. get a job!! bird-lipps!!!
Comment #21 Posted by: dennis leary roxs!! | November 27, 2007 06:56 PM
Hey #21 - read the two paragraphs just below "Post a comment."
Comment #22 Posted by: Tyler | November 27, 2007 07:24 PM