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Well, I know a little about tennis. I just saw the movie Match Point, which I thought would give me some indication of just how their crazy scoring system works, but really it was just a movie of murder and intrigue and a hot tennis pro. Sure, there was a lot of volleying going on, but all the sex and mayhem spoiled the true spirit of the game. Quite disappointing really (except for the hot tennis pro). Perhaps someone can reply to this post with a lesson in scoring (anyone, that is, except the hot guy who starred in the movie because he proved distracting).

And there’s the time I went to tennis camp the summer after sixth or seventh grade. Actually, I think it was both. I forgot my racquet one year. My mom had to turn around and drive 50 miles back home to get it for me. After 2 years at camp, I never excelled beyond beginner level. I did, however, become quite adept at flinging the racquet out of my hand when returning a serve. I believe I tagged my tennis instructor with the Wilson (pictured – yes I still keep it as a sad reminder) once or twice. I can say, though, that it wasn’t all horrible. I just loved the cute little tennis outfits, especially the skirts with the bloomers. And as a curveless pre-adolescent of 5’8” and growing, I’m sure I set a new standard for junior tennis fashion.

Looking ahead at the task before me, I shall report the goings on at The Ojai in my usual “Finding Ojai” style. Please don’t look to me for finely honed “sports-writer” insight. I won’t be rattling off impressive statistics or keen observations about serving styles or the quality of whatsername’s backhand. But I can promise that I will ask the hard questions:

• Are the hot dogs here any good?
• Is there any organic decaf tea in the tea tent?
• Do you have any openings for ball-girl and can I just work in the shade?
• Does your coach ever yell at you or use bad words?

Okay, I’ll admit there’s room for improvement here, so I plan to sit down with local legend, Stacy Margolin Potter. You tennis fanatics will recognize the name. Stacy played on the Professional Woman’s Tennis Tour from 1977-1987 and reached a World Ranking of #18. She hails from USC, where she won both the National Collegiate Singles and Team Titles. Her association with The Ojai continues today and she’s already hinted that I should have a face-to-face with the USC women’s coach, Rich Gallien. She also told me that the Pac-10 men’s event will be the one to watch, because a real up-and-commer, Sam Querry, the 18-year-old who lost to James Blake in a pro tournament down in Indian Wells last month, is playing in the Men’s Open division. At 6’5”, he’ll be hard to miss.

So, my first assignment will be the free annual tennis barbecue on Thursday, April 27 at Lower Libbey Park from 5:30 to 8:00. I’ll be the one asking what the difference between “Match Point” and “Love” is.